And after years, and for a second..I saw him again. The sweet boy that cried for me.
Years ago, me 19, him 20...talks about the future, our dreams and aspirations. I let him go because he said he liked me so...but I wasn't even being myself really. So what was it that he liked? A young girl who would be inspired, not to dream her own dreams, but to hitch a ride on his? No, that couldn't be. And besides, respect and even the emotion of love does not mean marriage is in the horizon.
I realized this later on, in bed with a man that was so very, very different from him. It was Pandora's Box. (I'm so glad I didn't go anywhere near there with the boy. In fact, I regret opening it at all. I'm left aching for the culmination of all things.)
Sweet boy. He found a girl who made him feel like the man that he wanted to be--something I couldn't bring myself to do.
And I remember saying..."Yes, this is a break. Whatever God wills will happen right? But I'm not saying to wait for me. Don't wait."
Well, that is what I said. What am I waiting for then?